Camping - Part Deux
by Aunty Lala
Summary: Three years have passed in the Parallel Lives verse, since Jack took Ianto camping. This time he's got it all planned out, nothing can go wrong with his weekend away in France with the husband he crossed time and reality for. Right?
1. Chapter 1

Cassie shook her head. 'You really think he's going to say yes?'

Jack nodded. 'I've got it all planned out, if you don't mind having Gareth for the weekend.'

She snorted. 'It's not me you have to convince.'

Carys joined the conversation. 'What's Jack up to this time?'

'He's going to take Ianto away for the weekend.'

Jack watched the two young women exchange a look as they burst into laughter. He stood there, arms folded while he waited for them to stop.

Carys groaned. 'Oh no, please say you aren't going camping again.' Dissolving into more laughter.

'He still goes on about the last trip you took him on.' Cassie tried to catch her breath.

'That was three years ago.' Jack knew he was sounding exasperated but he couldn't help it, their constant laughter was getting to him.

'Only three?'

Jack sighed softly as he looked from Cassie to Carys. Sometimes he regretted these two women had ever became such close friends, they seemed to have this silent language they could speak between them. Secret women's words where entire sentences were exchanged in a single look. 'No camping this time.' His voice quiet. 'I learnt that lesson already.' Ianto had him on decaf for over a week.

Cassie took a few breaths to calm down from the laughter. 'So what is the plan this time then?'

'The South of France.'

'Wilson took me there when he proposed.'

'I keep telling Andy we need a break.' Rubbing her belly. 'Before this one pops into the world would be nice. The South of France always looks so lovely. What are the details then?'

'I found a lovely little hotel online, it's on the coast.'

'Sounds okay so far.'

'We fly to Marseille and pick up a rental car, I even arranged a private vineyard tour and tasting.'

'What about room service?' Cassie looked at Carys. 'He is still obsessed with room service, you get to hang out in your office, I'm on the counter with him.' She looked at Jack. 'I swear, I love the guy, you know that, but if this weekend doesn't work out like you planned, I'm never going to hear the end of it.'

Jack rolled his eyes. 'You think I'd make that mistake a second time?'

'I didn't think you'd make it the first time.'

'Cassie I assure you, everything will be perfect.'

'Don't say it Jack.' She warned.

'I've got it all covered.'

'Ah ha.'

'You people forget, I used to run a secret organisation.'

'What, you did the paperwork and everything?'

'Fine, so I had help with some of the details. But I run a very successful business now.'

Carys nodded, a smile in her eyes. 'Well one of us does.' She patted him on the arm. 'I should get back to that paperwork.'

'I'm starting to see a pattern.' Cassie grinned.

'Oh shut up, it's going to be romantic and lovely and perfect.' He stalked off leaving the two women giggling in his wake.

Cassie shook her head as she made coffee. 'Why do I get the feeling he has this about as well covered as an Essex girl's bikini.'

Carys shrugged. 'Because it's Jack.' She took the coffee Cassie handed to her. 'I best check on his empire, least he try to run things while no one's looking.'

Ianto walked though door and frowned as he saw two suitcases at the foot of the stairs, along with his son's backpack. 'Jack?'

'Oh, there you are, have a good day?'

'What's going on?'

'I thought we could get away for a few days.'

'I'm not going camping.'

'Yeah, I sort of worked that one out, after last time.'

'What are you up to?'

'Cassie will take Gareth and I thought we could head to the South of France.'

'France?' Ianto stood there, arms folded, not sounding convinced.

'I've got it all worked out.'

'I've heard that before.'

'We fly into Marsielle and pick up a car and drive up the coast to a lovely little family run hotel. I've booked us a suite and they have a fantastic view of the ocean.'

'Room service?'

'Of course.' Kissing Ianto as he nodded.

'Cell phone reception?'

'Yes.' He handed Ianto their son's bag. 'Gareth's packed, Cassie has all the numbers and it's all sorted.' Jack looked around and grinned when he saw his son looked at them from the top of the stairs. 'Come on you.'

Gareth grinned as he bounded down the stairs and leapt into Ianto's arms. 'Hi tad.'

'Hello, did you have fun today visiting the school with your dad?'

Serious blue eyes nodded. 'I'm looking forward to seeing Mitch again, I've missed him and Sally.'

Ianto nodded understandingly, he knew their son had been pained by the absence of his friends from the preschool he attended. 'And are you looking forward to staying with Andy and Cassie and Alwyn?'

'Yep, although Alwyn is still a bit of a baby.'

Ianto took the backpack Jack handed him and followed his husband, he still wasn't convinced as he spoke softly with his son.

Andy took the bag from Ianto. 'Hi ya Jack, Ianto.'

'You sure you will be okay with him?'

Cassie laughed softly. 'Relax Ianto, we will be fine, and it's not like we haven't hung out with him before.'

'Yeah, and it will be good practice for when our little guy joins the team.'

Cassie rubbed her belly again. 'Girl.'

Jack laughed. 'I said the same thing with Gareth.' Smiling as his eyes followed Cassie's hand. 'Six months?'

She nodded. 'I know I'm looking forward to meeting her.'

'Him.' Andy cut in as he pulled Gareth into his arms. 'Opfh, what are they feeding you? You get bigger all the time.'

'It's cos I eat my greens, my nan says they'll make me tall like tad.' He whispered loudly in Andy's ear. 'I don't like the sprouts though.'

'Me either.' Andy winked. 'So you going to have fun hanging out with us?'

'Ah ha, dad and tad are going on holiday and next week I'm this many.' Holding his hand up. 'I'll be five and go to school and everything.'

'I'm sure a smart guy like you will have loads of fun at school.'

Gareth nodded seriously. 'Ah ha, I can even write my name.'

Andy grinned. 'Come on then, lets get you settled and see if there's anything in the tin for us.'

Cassie smiled at Jack and Ianto as Andy took Gareth upstairs. 'So, you two, planning on adding to the family while you're away?'

'What?'

'No.'

'Ah ha.' Cassie had seen the look in Jack's eyes as she'd rubbed her pregnant belly, it was a kind of longing she'd seen reflected in her own. Now both she and Tosh were pregnant with their second child each, Jack was starting to look, wistful. She waved the two men goodbye and headed back upstairs to see what mischief Andy and Gareth were into.

Jack relaxed as they sipped their drinks on the plane. They had made good time and the plane had taken off on schedule, everything was going according to plan and it was perfect. The slight possibility of turbulence from a storm the pilot was hoping to skirt was the only drama they were facing. Even a bumpy landing did nothing to dull Jack's enthusiasm for the weekend he had planned.

Bags collected they approached the car rental counter and Jack flashed his standard Captain Jack smile at the young woman muttering at her computer in French that made Ianto blush.

She looked up and tried to smile. 'Bonjour.'

'Yes, hello, I'm Captain Jack Harkness, I have a car booked for the weekend.'

She shrugged in that way only the French can as she indicated her computer. 'I am sure you do but I can not access the computer to check.'

'But you must have cars.'

'Oui, we are a car rental agency, of course we have cars.'

'Then I'm sure we can work something out.'

'Unless you have a computer technician in your matching luggage, I do not see how we can do that.'

'Isn't there someone you can call?'

'To check your luggage?'

Jack didn't want to look at Ianto, he could feel the Welshman's eyes rolling behind him. 'I would like to hire a car.'

She shrugged. 'And I would like to marry Johnny Depp but I am quite certain he is not in your luggage either. Perhaps you could try the next counter.'

Jack looked at the sign she was pointing to and tried to think happy thoughts. 'Budget rental cars?'

She nodded. 'Oui.' And put the closed sign up on her counter.

Jack sighed softly and wheeled his bag to the next counter.

'Bonjour.'

Jack nodded at the young man. 'Is your computer working?'

'Oui, of course.'

'Fantastic, I need to hire a car.'

'I shall check to see what we have available.'

Jack watched as fingers flew across the keyboard and the friendly face looked up from the glow of the monitor.

'I have a Renult I can let you have.'

Jack stared at him. 'A what?'

'Renult, they are an excellent car.'

'Says who? Four out of five Russians?'

The man's lower lip began to wobble. 'Do you want the car?'

Jack sighed as he pulled his wallet out and reached for his credit card. 'It will do.'

Walking around the car Jack tried not to make eye contact with Ianto. He couldn't survive any disappointment, it just wasn't in the plan. Bags stowed Jack checked his directions before starting the engine. He pulled out of the parking lot and nosed the car into traffic. They weren't too far behind the plan, there was time to catch up. Dark clouds rolling in were ominous but able to be discounted. Until fat drops of rain pouted the car and swerving to miss branches thrown at them the car wobbled and pulled to a dramatic stop.

Jack took a deep breath and looked to Ianto. 'Flat tyre.'

'Yep.'

'We need to change it.'

'Ah ha.'

'Don't suppose your roadside auto assist insurance covers France?'

'Nope.'

'I guess one of us is going to get wet.'

Ianto nodded. 'Looks like you will. I suppose I could hold the umbrella for you.'

'It's not the umbrella I'd like you to hold.' Jack muttered.

'You did pack an umbrella didn't you?'

Jack shook his head. 'Holiday is in the south of France, not England or Wales, didn't think I'd need one.'

'Right. And I suppose the spare tyre is under our luggage.'

'Of course.'

Ianto sighed as he reached for his cell phone. 'Best we call the hotel and let them know we will be late checking in.'

Jack pulled his own phone out for the number and frowned.

Ianto shook his head. 'Phone flat?'

Jack nodded. 'You?'

Checking the bars Ianto sighed. 'Yep, but you brought our chargers.' He watched as Jack's eyes darkened.

'I might have forgotten to pack them.' Angry at himself for forgetting something so simple.

'Hmm.' Ianto nodded. 'Best we get this tyre changed and hope they hold the  
reservation then.'

Jack knew his voice was soft, barely audible in the rain hitting the car. 'Don't even joke about that.'


	2. Chapter 2

Looking back Jack knew he shouldn't have been surprised it had taken longer than expected to move their bags, locate the spare wheel and get the tire changed. He even knew the rain wasn't deliberate as the sky opened in what felt like biblical proportions. Cold water dripping down his back had even found it's way into his shoes. Settling uncomfortably behind the wheel he started the car.

The cold silence radiating from Ianto as they drove through the growing storm was the least of his concerns as he finally pulled up outside the hotel. Jack hoped it was the darkness that left it looking less like the image he'd found online. Knocking on the door he found it jerked open by an elderly man wearing a bed cap. Not what he was expecting.

'You have missed check in. Non, the room is not available.'

'What do you mean not available?'

'I was speaking English Monsieur Captain. You missed check in, someone else arrived and they have taken the room.'

'You can't do that, I booked the room online and paid via credit card.'

'A non refundable transaction if you miss check in.'

Jack shook his head as he looked over at his damp husband. This was not part of his plan. 'Do you have any rooms available?'

'Oui, there is one.'

'Then I'll take it.'

'And will you be staying one night or two?'

'Hopefully just the one.'

The hotelier shrugged as he handed Jack the key. 'It is up the stairs and the last door on the left.' He muttered in French before vanishing, leaving Jack and Ianto dripping on his threadbare carpet holding their own bags.

Turning to Ianto Jack shook his head. 'Come on, you can yell at me once we've both had a hot shower.'

'As long as there are no dinosaurs I will reserve judgement.'

'Thank you.'

'Doesn't mean you ever, get to book another weekend away.'

'You said that last time.' Jack muttered as he opened the door to their room.

Ianto nodded as the light flicked on and revealed bunk beds. 'Oh I don't think that's something to be bragging about.'

Jack sighed as he followed Ianto into the room, kicking the door closed. The room was barely large enough for the two of them as Jack set the bags down and opened what he hoped was the bathroom door.

Jack was drying his hair while Ianto was taking his shower, it hadn't taken long to realise the bathroom wasn't big enough for two grown men. Much like the room itself. The lights flickered and Ianto swore as they were plunged into darkness. Groaning Jack found a lighter and hoped the candles weren't just decorative.

Ianto washed the soap out of his eyes with cold water before shutting it off and trying to find his towel. His mantra, there are no dinosaurs, there are no dinosaurs, there are no dinosaurs... The door opened and faint light surrounded Jack, revealing his towel. 'Thank you Jack.'

Setting the candlestick down Jack grinned. 'Still talking to me?'

'The room is too small for an argument Jack. And I'm sure you didn't plan the power cut.'

'No, I planned a king sized bed, a proper tub and a full bottle of bubblebath.'

'And did you plan pyjama's?'

'Nope.'

Ianto shook his head at Jack's grin as he pointed to the bunks behind them. 'I don't think so.' He pulled clean boxers on and moved around Jack, throwing the blankets back as he climbed into the bottom bunk. 'You still get to be on top though.'

Jack couldn't fault the logic behind that as he hoisted himself into the top bunk. 'Night Ianto.'

'Ah ha.'

Groaning into his pillow Jack tried to chase sleep and not think about the chill in Ianto's tone.

Light streamed in around the curtains, Ianto tried to sit up but ended up banging his head on the bunk above him. 'Oh Christ, this isn't a dream.' He rolled awkwardly out of the bed and yanked the curtains open, flooding the room with sunshine. Digging clean clothes out he got dressed as Jack joined him. 'There better be decent coffee Jack.'

Jack's voice soft. 'Only one way to find out.'

Moving through the hotel Ianto followed his nose to a dining room and found a pot of what he hoped was coffee. The waitress who greeted him didn't look a day under eighty, supported by the weight of her wrinkles she asked how he had slept. They exchanged polite small talk in French as Ianto sipped what turned out to be the last of the coffee. It was slightly bitter as if it had been brewed over a fire and left a little too long. His only consolation, that they would be leaving soon and could find another hotel that did have a king sized bed, a bathtub and coffee. Maybe then he could overlook the start to their weekend away.

'Oh Ianto, is that coffee?'

'Yes Jack, it is.'

Jack picked the pot up to poor himself a cup and groaned. 'It's empty.'

'Yes, but it was coffee. I'm sure they have tea.'

Jack just rolled his eyes as he looked around for a breakfast menu.

Ianto shook his head. 'Nope, I was speaking with Giselle, she started working here when she was twelve, about a hundred years ago I think. Although it could have been seventy.' Sipping his coffee like it was the best coffee he'd ever been forced to drink. 'The power is still out, so breakfast will be a surprise medley of whatever they can find that can be cooked on the old wood stove.'

'Oh.' Finding a glass of water Jack moved to a window table and sat looking outside. He frowned as he rose back to his feet. 'Um Ianto.'

'Yes?'

'Did Giselle say anything about the tree being down?'

Moving to stand behind Jack he shrugged. 'No, oh.' He put the finished coffee cup down and smiled at Jack. 'Looks like we aren't leaving any time soon.'

Jack turned to Ianto and dragged a hand though his hair. 'You say that with a smile but you aren't really smiling.'

'Oh, I am Jack. It keeps the laughter on the inside.'

Jack felt his shoulders slump as he fell into the chair. 'This just gets better and better, at least there isn't anything else that could possibly go wrong.'

Ianto just rolled his eyes.

Slathering butter on the mostly toasted bread Jack tried not to groan when a familiar voice echoed around the room. Catching his eye Ianto raised a perfect eyebrow in silent question as a mop of dark hair sauntered into the room.

'Oh yeah, it's dead quaint, wonder what's for breakfast.'

Jack turned his head to see Gwen Cooper slash Williams looking around the room. Her hand on the arm of a tall thin man who was most certainly not her husband.

'Don't make eye contact.' He hissed at his husband.

Ianto leaned towards Jack. 'Do you know her?' She looked vaguely familiar.

'In another life.' He whispered. 'She was part of, well, Torchwood. But that isn't her husband.'

Ianto sat back and folded his arms across his chest. 'How well did you "know" her?'

'Not that bloody well, and not for a lack of trying on her behalf either.' Jack sighed as he looked at his breakfast. Undine had said Gwen was as faithful to Rhys in this world as she had been in his. He just hadn't expected to be witness to it this time around. He watched as Ianto just nodded and turned back to his breakfast. He wondered if it wasn't too late to start praying for a miracle.

It wasn't until they were sitting in the salon playing cards that the inevitable happened. Ianto had excused himself from the table to see if there was an update on when they might leave the hotel when Gwen slid into his seat.

'Look, I know you saw us and I know you know my husband. I'd really appreciate it if you didn't say anything to him.'

Jack stopped himself from rolling his eyes as he shook his head. 'You happen to be sitting in my husband's seat.'

'You married him?'

'What sort of question is that?' He leaned forward. 'And you are hardly in the best position to be discussing marriages Mrs Williams.' He watched her face loose all colour. 'In another life I might have told you not to let your relationship with your husband slide. But I have a fair idea of what sort of person you are, and I don't think you're capable of listening.' He leaned back in his chair, seeing Ianto out the corner of his eye. 'Now, as I said before, you are sitting in my husband's chair.'

Gwen sat there a moment longer, her mouth opening and closing but no sound escaping. Rising slowly to her feet she fled the room.

Ianto slid into the once more empty chair. 'Do I want to know what that was about?'

'Probably not, and did you find anything out?'

'Power will likely be on this afternoon but the road wont be clear until tomorrow.' He picked his cards up. 'My turn?'

Jack nodded as Ianto set a card down.

Ianto lay back on the bottom bunk watching as Jack paced the length of their room. Three paces up, turn, and three paces back. And repeat. He set the magazine down he had been pretending to read. 'What is it?'

Jack stopped mid turn. 'It's all wrong.'

Carefully disembarking from the bunk so he didn't hit his head, again, Ianto stepped up to Jack. 'It was a nice idea.'

'But it's all fucked up.' He hadn't even bothered asking about the vineyard tour, it had started hailing after lunch. Which had consisted of some sort of soup and more mostly toasted bread.

Ianto wrapped his arms around Jack and rested his head on his husband's shoulder. 'Ah yes, but think of the stories I'm going to be able to tell when we get back.'

'That isn't helping.'

Ianto grinned as he stroked his hands down Jack's back and reached for his arse. 'I might be able to think of something to distract you.' He could feel tension melting from Jack as the man purred in his ear.

'What did you have in mind?'

Clothes quickly scattered the floor as Ianto bent Jack over, hands placed on the bottom bunk as he quickly prepped his husband. Lips moving across Jack's back. 'We haven't done this for a while.'

Jack groaned as his heat welcomed Ianto home. Usually he was the one on top but he had no hesitation in letting Ianto take control when the young Welshman felt inspired to. It was a bit cramped in the awkward little room but he felt the familiar rhythm building between them when someone banged on the door.

Ianto cursed in Welsh as he stepped back pulling his pants up, waiting for Jack to make himself presentable.

'Ah, Monsieur and Monsieur Captain. You will be pleased to know the road is now clear. You can check out now.'

Jack watched the locus of his despair turn and walk away before turning back to Ianto. 'He couldn't have waited two minutes?'

'Only two minutes?'

Jack groaned. 'That isn't what I meant.' He sighed softly. 'Do you want to get out of this horrible place? We can drive back to the airport and catch an earlier flight home.' He'd barely finished speaking when Ianto set his packed suitcase next to Jack's feet. 'I'll take that as a yes then.'

Checking to make sure they had everything Jack carried the bags to the front desk. He settled their bill before taking the bags to the car and loading them into the boot. 'I have to say, so far I think I preferred the camping trip we went on to this one.'

'Me too. Oh and Jack.' Ianto smiled at his husband. 'If you ever book a weekend away, for us, ever again, I'm staying home.'


	3. Chapter 3

Epilogue:

Jack walked away from the hyperventilating Carys and the hysterical Cassie as Ianto regailed them with exaggerated tales from the weekend. Muttering into his coffee he contemplated locking himself in his office. All he'd wanted was a nice weekend away with his husband. He looked up as the door opened and he felt a hand on his shoulder.

'It was a nice gesture Jack.'

'Is that why I'm not on the decafe?'

'The weather wasn't your fault.'

Jack nodded as he looked into his husband's smile. 'Thanks Ianto.'

'But I meant what I said.'

'I know. Ianto.' He rose to his feet as he folded his husband into his arms. 'I know.'


End file.
